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Show Notes:
I thought this episode was going to be titled “A Little Dose Of Healthy Narcissism.”
One of my brilliant past clients pointed out that a little dose of healthy narcissism seems to be necessary in order to grow a program beyond private practice and step into the world of marketing.
Their idea was that perhaps you’ve got to step into a tiny bit of narcissism to have the courage to grow your audience and sell your offer.
Disclaimer: We’re not talking about narcissism like what we see in Elon Musk or Donald Trump. We’re not talking about a diagnosis either. We’re really talking about a bit of bold inner confidence.
I mentioned this concept to a coach I was working with and she said “That’s a great podcast episode!”
So I put “A Little Dose Of Healthy Narcissism” in my list of future podcast episodes. And it sat there…and sat there… for a year.
Then I realized that a little dose of healthy narcissism isn’t really what I focus on or where my clients, friends or colleagues who are making great money with simple businesses are focusing.
Even that coach who told me it would be a great episode doesn’t run on narcissism or bold confidence.
Side note:
If you do have a little dose of healthy narcissism going for you, wonderful! Especially if you’re queer, you’re a person of color, you’re a woman, and/or you hold any marginalized identity, your confidence is a beautiful and radical thing. I love it.
I just don’t believe you’ve got to cultivate bold confidence before you can make your business fly.
You don’t need to wait until you feel confident, and you don’t need to focus your energy on building your confidence.
For those of us raised as girls, confidence can be extra tricky. We’ve been taught forever NOT to act too confident.
Confidence is tricky for MANY of us.
So if it isn’t about stepping into a little dose of healthy narcissism, what DOES help you feel confident selling your offer?
It’s about falling in love with and geeking out on your work, and specifically on your signature offer.
I’ve had the best year ever in my business. Again. And it’s not because I’ve cracked the code on being super confident.
My confidence goes up and down throughout the day and throughout the seasons.
My confidence depends on what’s happening with my hormones, what’s going on with my kids, maybe even whether something reminds me of high school when I didn’t sit in the lunchroom but instead hid in the library.
But I’ve got confidence in my offer.
My offer is great at helping therapists create and sell their programs, and I’m getting more and more known for it.
I’ve totally fallen in love with my own offer.
I created it for people I care about and listened carefully to, based on what I do best. I’ve then improved it with every iteration. The program also has amazing guest teachers who do things I can’t.
I’ve put my best work and resources into it.
CYP is an amazing process and there’s nothing else like it for therapists in private practice to create and sell an offer beyond private practice.
So every time I get ready to talk about my offer as a podcast guest or on my podcast or I run an open house or update my sales page, I think: “Dang this is an amazing offer!”
Putting your best work into your offer is the foundation of having confidence in selling that offer.
Sometimes that confidence might look like a bit of narcissism.
Like…maybe I seem narcissistic right now. 😀
I know some business owners who LOOK like they have a little dose of healthy narcissism. But knowing them behind the scenes…they don’t.
Their confidence soars because their offer is working really well.
But what if your offer is new and you can’t lean into the results it has already brought people?
You’re probably not going feel as confident selling your offer the first time as you will the 3rd time.
AND you still need to fall in love with your pilot offer.
Part of what makes your pilot offer incredibly valuable is that (if you’ve taken my advice) you’re delivering it live in a highly interactive way, you’re putting your experience, gifts and personality into it, and you’re tuning in and responding to feedback.
A couple of my close entrepreneur friends just launched new offers.
In moments in the process, they faced self doubt.
But as they worked to boost their confidence in selling their offers, they thought about their offers. They reminded themselves about the value of what they’d created.
They reminded themselves about how much love, thought, skill and experience they’d put into creating these offers.
As I’m recording/writing this in November, folks in the current cohort of CYP have just created their pilot programs. They’ve carefully niched. They’ve crafted high-quality, high-touch programs filled with so much love and experience and their unique perspectives. They’ve created the programs only they can create.
Most of them are totally nervous. And that’s totally OK. As they go to the next step, which is creating a plan to grow their audiences and to sell their offers, they will remember how much they love their offers.
They’ve already sold their offers to themselves, so now they’ll be able to sell them to others in total integrity.
To sum it all up: How do you grow your confidence in selling?
Focus on who you’re creating your offer for, and make that offer highly valuable. Put your best work into it. Make that a positive obsession*
When you fall in love with your own offer, you can share that love and find your bold confidence, even on a bad day.
*Borrowing the phrase “positive obsession” from author Octavia E Butler.
