ESTRANGED

A Workshop For People Who Are Estranged Or Disengaged From A Parent Or Caregiver

First you were mistreated. THEN your family has denied or minimized that mistreatment.

On top of that, culture tells you that you should forgive, get along, or just be quiet.

Even well meaning people say things that make you feel like YOU are the problem:

“Oh everyone has trouble with their parents.”
“Shouldn’t you be over that by now?”
“I’m sure they did their best.”

Lots of folks who create distance with a parent or caregiver struggle with self-doubt. We wonder if we are overreacting. Some of us struggle with guilt about hurting our parent. We wonder if what happened to us is really harmful enough to warrant this distance.

Sometimes we believe that we are being difficult, or that we are the problem. If you find yourself thinking these things, please take a breath.

Those thoughts and feelings are SO common for folks who have been mistreated over a long period of time by a parent or caregiver who does not take responsibility or engage in their own healing.

Please hear this:

You are not the problem

You deserve to live in your truth.

You deserve to choose who you are in relationship with.

You deserve to be free.

In this workshop we will explore ways to continue to build your most beautiful life as a person who is estranged or disengaged from a parent or caregiver.

I’ll share what has helped me and many others.

Here’s what a participant says about the experience:

Everything about the workshop felt supportive to me, however the aspect of the workshop that really stood out was the tool of introspective inquiry to connect with my "inner girl". I had been experiencing a lot of strong feelings that previously felt incongruent to my full adult awareness. This practice was exceptionally helpful and so insightful.

Sign up below and we’ll notify you when enrollment opens.

We will explore:

  • Choosing who to tell your story to and how you tell it

  • Identifying your right spot on the distance continuum

  • Tuning into your nervous system and listening to your body to create more safety

  • Finding your best response when people ask questions

  • Showing up for yourself as you navigate difficult moments

  • Listening to the parts of yourself that have been pushed aside

  • Identifying your relationship values and boundaries

Each online session will be split between teaching concepts, reflection time, and group discussion. We may also split into optional smaller breakout groups.

Who’s Annie?

I (Annie Schuessler) was a therapist for 20 years, and of course I learned a lot in that role. One thing I learned is that SO many brave and amazing adults are estranged or disengaged from a parent or caregiver, and too many people feel ashamed, isolated, or confused about this experience. I’m now a business coach and a healer, and I’ve retired my therapy license.

I am estranged from a parent. If you speak diagnoses, I’ve got Complex PTSD. If you speak attachment theory, I lean towards a disorganized attachment style.

I’m a white, queer, neurodivergent person, a parent to 2 kids who are teens and older, and I’ve got earned secure attachment with my anchor partner and a few close friends/chosen family.

The process and information I share in this workshop come from my learning from healers, thinkers and authors including EbonyJanice Moore, Thea Monyée, Clementine Morrigan, Irene Morning, bell hooks, Prentis Hemphill, Richard Schwartz, Sonya Renee Taylor and SJ Kahn.

Frequent Questions:

Do I need to identify as a trauma survivor to attend this workshop?

Nope. If you need to disengage from your parent or caregiver in order to live your most beautiful life, you belong here. You do not need to justify why you need space from them and you don’t need to identify in a particular way.

Is it OK to attend if I’m still in some contact with the parent or caregiver in question?

Yes. There is a spectrum of how much distance is right for each relationship. You will never need to justify your needs and choices in this space.

Will the sessions be recorded?

Yes. The sessions will be recorded and the recordings will be shared with the folks who registered.

Do I have to share my story?

Nope. We will not be sharing our stories in depth or detail for 2 reasons. One: We don’t have time to tell our stories and respond with the care that each story deserves. Two: We want to keep your nervous system in a window of transformation. Hearing each other’s stories of mistreatment could trigger a lot of overwhelm in our nervous systems. And yet you will know that everyone at the workshop has been through some stuff and that we honor each other.

Can I attend if I’m not in therapy?

Yes. This workshop can be a great addition to ongoing therapy or other healing, but therapy is not a requirement.

Can I attend and stay quiet?

Yes. There will be some space for questions and discussion, but if you decide to stay quiet, that will be welcome too.

What this isn’t:

This workshop is not therapy.

We won’t be sharing our stories in detail or depth during this workshop.

There is no support provided outside of the workshop sessions.

I do encourage you to set up support for yourself after the workshop sessions because a lot of stuff might come up and you deserve support! You might plan to spend time with a person you trust, have someone you trust on call, or even watch your favorite show while you wrap yourself up in a blanket.