What If Everyone Doesn't Like Me?

Marketing can feel exposing. I define marketing as creating and nurturing relationships to let the people who need you know that you're here to help them. To market effectively, you've got to be genuine, and allow people to see who you really are. It's hard to let go of wanting everyone to like you. I encourage my coaching clients to let go of the fear of repelling people. You've got to let the people who will love you know who you are. When you boldly step in to being you, YOUR people find you, and the people who don't love you walk away. When the people who aren't meant to work with you walk away, that's just making more room for your people.

Imagine you're going to a party, and you're planning to try to make everyone like you. Maybe you will do this by anticipating what every person would like you to say or how every person wants you to act. You'll have to wear something you think everyone will approve of. If there's a quality about you that stands out, you'll have to be careful to make sure everyone likes that quality or you'll have to tone it down. If you have a loud laugh, for example, you'll need to lower it a bit in case it bothers someone. If you love video games, you'll have to make sure every person approves of that before you mention it. Doesn't this sound like an awful way to spend your time? And if anyone at that party would have really liked YOU, they won't even know it. 

That is how most people approach marketing. So no wonder so many of you hate it. ​What if you were to step into every aspect of marketing with the faith that your people will recognize and love you? What if you knew that when you repelled people, they weren't meant to work with you? I encourage you to try these ideas on. From the moment you get dressed in the morning, to when you are talking to potential clients, to when you are talking to colleagues, to when you are writing copy for your website, look for every opportunity to be your unique self. I'd love to know how it goes.

Time Management: What Should I Do Now?

I keep hourglasses in my office, and I even wear one on a chain around my neck sometimes. I like to be reminded about how precious time is. You have so much to do in your business! Marketing is just one part of running your business. How do you decide what to do with that small amount of marketing time? It is easy to feel unfocused and overwhelmed. Ask yourself a few questions to help you see what to dedicate your time to. ​

1. Where did I get my last few clients?​

This is a clue to what is working. If you got your last few clients from colleagues, spend some time nurturing those relationships and building relationships with similar colleagues in your circle. See my last post "Networking=Nurturing Your Relationships." 

2. What can I follow through with?​

Do a few things well and consistently. You can spend a lot of hours trying to keep up with dozens of marketing activities and not have an impact with any of them. Contacting someone once, writing one article, dipping your toe into social media, or having a not really done website are all ways to spread yourself too thin. Identify a few things that you can do well and don't stop doing them. 

3. Am I using my marketing time to market?​

I define marketing as creating and nurturing relationships to let your ideal clients know you're here to serve them. Marketing is incredibly important and yet not urgent. Important things don't get done if we let the endless urgent ones get priority. When it's time to market, don't let anything else take over. ​

Align every marketing activity with your core values and let it always reflect your love of what you do. This will ensure that your marketing time is always moving you towards your ideal business.

Are You Screwing Up Your Business With The Wrong Fee?

Choosing and getting comfortable with a good fee is one of your most important tasks, and it requires examining a lot of your assumptions about money. Business owners give many reasons to charge low fees. Some of these reasons are valid, and some really aren't. Let's look at a few:

1. Clients won't come and see me if I charge more than my competitors.
2. I want people with less resources to be able to afford me
3. Clients won't stay as long if I charge more

Let's go through those one by one:​

1. Clients won't come and see me if I charge more than my competitors.​ 

If someone is comparison shopping with cost as a primary factor, then that might be true. Are your ideal clients using cost as a primary factor? Don't assume that most of them are. In your work as a service provider, factors such as how much your clients like you and how they feel about the quality and effectiveness of your work are likely to be much higher than cost. 

Sometimes the opposite is true. Many people believe that fee is related to quality. If you are charging less, many of your prospective clients will ​believe you are less capable of helping them. We know many amazing professionals charge very little, but you need to acknowledge the association between cost and quality.

​2. I want people with less resources to be able to afford me.

This is the most valid reason to charge a lower fee, and if you are called to serve people with less resources, I honor you. I also have found that charging more allows me to give more generously and I can choose to give pro-bono services when it feels right. Consider reserving your lower fee exceptions for certain people you feel strongly called to serve. Consider charging enough that you have time to volunteer. 

3. People won't stay as long if I charge more.​

This is often true! And I don't see this as a negative. When you charge more, your clients are faced with the decision of how much they can invest in themselves. When your ideal client invests a significant amount of money in your services, they often invest more fully in the process. There is likely to be much less time you are working with them when they are not fully present.

The above are just 3 examples of the dozens of reasons business owners give for charging less. I invite you to question your assumptions and shine light on your blind spots. When your business is paying you well, you can take excellent care of yourself and you can continue to provide your unique services. 

Networking=Nurturing Your Relationships

When I say the word "networking," small business owners often get anxious. Many people associate networking with awkwardly meeting people and forcing conversations about business. This is not what I am talking about! I almost never recommend cold calling potential referral sources or ​clients. The most effective use of your time and energy is almost always to give to the relationships you already have. There are 3 stages to networking: adding people to the mix (or the pipeline), following up with people, and making some sort of "close" with them (either receiving a referral or business from them). It is that second stage that is often neglected and that actually needs the most attention. 

For example, if you are a therapist in practice for several years with a struggling practice, let's look at your networking strategy. If you went to school in the area, worked at an agency in the area, or even just practiced in the area for a few years, you've come into contact with a lot of therapists and other professionals. Rather than adding people to the list of those you know, your time and energy will be better spent by thinking of all of the people you already know and especially those you like, those who have referred to you, and those with full practices. Any person who meets 2 of those qualifications or even 3 goes to the top of the list!

An effective strategy would be to get back in touch with all of those people, perhaps a few each week. When you reach out to these people, your focus is not on asking for referrals or even telling them about your business. Your focus is on learning what is going on with them and finding out if there is any way you can be helpful. Find out what methods they are enjoying using these days, and how you can best refer to them. That is a phone call or an email that your colleagues will be less likely to ignore. Before you make any phone call or send any email, take a moment to get grounded. Take a deep breath or get a cup of tea and get in touch with your excitement about this work. Every call or email that you start from a place of love and openness will carry that tone with it. You will feel more energy and stop feeling dread at hearing the word "networking".

Your Superhero Alliance

I was working with a client recently on her networking plan. This plan includes contacting quality professionals in related fields. As we were creating her next action steps in the plan, she mentioned that she was feeling nervous about reaching out to people in a particular profession. She knows people in this profession would be great referral partners for her. When she dug in to what she was afraid of, she talked about how knowledgeable these folks are, that they are like “superheroes” in all that they know how to do. She felt inferior and intimidated because she doesn’t have their skill set. I then reminded her that she has superpowers too, and that to these professionals, she is a superhero. Their alliance will be like the super friends.

Each person in your referral network has a particular strength and you all need each other. Your clients will need referrals to all of you.

This woman tends to forget what is unique, valuable or special about her work. Through our work together she is gaining the ability to identify and articulate this superpower. She is amazing at what she does. She’s got incredible skills as well as a unique point of view.

I always advise people to approach networking as building a long-term relationship. Your focus should always be more on learning about the other person than selling yourself. When you step into that conversation while you are aware of your unique super power, you will stay grounded and able to connect from a place of strength and openness.